Nice is a Strategy, too

[AUDIO] There's a good way to go about success.

Note to Self: There is always another way

Not everything has to be a struggle, a brawl, or an us-vs-them situation. There are many ways to walk the path in life, at work, and in society.

And nice is a perfectly good strategy, too.

Let me tell you a story.

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You Have a Choice

If you're feeling burned out by the endless conflict in the world today - from road rage to global politics to our industry's endless desire to poke-each-other-in-the-eye, remember this:

Nice is a strategy, too.

Too few leaders believe this, but I wish they would. The endless attempts to “conquer the competition” too often push people to say and do things that signal to others: Look at me! But what they really are saying is:

Look out!

Who wakes up every day and thinks: That’s the way to be in the world? I simply don’t have the gene to want to treat others the way you see happening in industry chatter these days. Oh, it’s just the competitors, they say. Except that you used to work with them, don’t you remember? And you might work with them again in the future.

This industry — and your neighborhood — is much smaller than you think.

Besides, People notice how you treat anyone.

They don't want to be led by someone who’s always edging for a fight with the competitor, regardless of the compensation package you offer. Clients have enough worries to mistakenly choose a partner who’s always in fight mode, either.

Thanks, But No Thanks

Two weeks ago, I declined an invitation to speak for an organization whose approach to business would have left a sour taste in my mouth. The conversation almost immediately went to their willingness to pay full-fee; it was all about money, every other sentence. I knew after a few minutes their "winner-takes-all" mentality wasn't for me.

"Write your own ticket," they said, one last time.

I politely declined:

"Making money is easy," I said, "Doing good work is what's hard. I don’t mind winning, but I do mind how I get there. This isn’t an opportunity for me." I wished them well and moved on.

Kind is Easy

Kindness isn’t fluff. Nor does it mean you’re weak. You don’t survive cancer twice and not know what it takes to handle anything. But you also don’t need to be a survivor to be pleasant, either.

Being kind is a competitive advantage.

It attracts all sorts of things. Colleagues who want to help. Friends and family who are always there. People go (and stay) where they feel respected, heard, and appreciated.

That means clients, too.

Be Known for Something Good

Some people are simply trying too hard for…. something. Popularity? Adulation? Dominance?

I prefer to think that once you stop trying to be right, you have a chance to do good.

Wouldn’t that be something nice to be known for?

Last Friday, I had a call with a company I'd never worked with before. Our discussion lasted twenty minutes. From the first greeting to a final “virtual" handshake, I knew I wanted to work with them.

Sure, they led their marketplace and had lots of accomplishments. That made me feel good to be considered by them. But within moments, I realized their success didn't come from power or money:

It came from their culture.

It didn’t matter how much they paid. People were there because they wanted to be part of it. I wanted to contribute, too, not because they were number one in the market, but because they were:

Number one in the hearts of others.

They say nice guys finish last.
I’m old enough to know that nice people are never finished.

Life's short.
Who you spend time with matters.
How you spend your time here matters, too.

There's more than one way to succeed.

—M

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