You Change First
Don't wait for things to change; you start first.
In this week’s newsletter, I want to share:
Why you’re designed to handle tough times
Why nothing changes until you change first
Three ways to turn difficult times into gateways of incredible growth
Let’s start with the old saying: When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
I’d humbly add one thing: Those tough times won’t change until I get going, either.
That little twist reminds me that tough times don’t only change me: I change them. I don’t have to wait for conditions to change. I can change the conditions and change the times.
Suddenly, there’s more to changing tough times than I ever expected!
Let me tell you a story.
That Time I Changed the Times
Years ago, during a prolonged down-cycle in the housing market, I delivered a seminar to a 1000-plus audience in Portugal. They had come together to enjoy entertainment, deepen their education, and reignite their inspiration. My session focused on a simple piece of advice that has served me well over my career:
For things to get better, I must get better!
- Jim Rohn
My mentor taught me to write that on the top line of my business plan, as a reminder that whatever I wanted to achieve that year, I didn’t have to depend upon the market, the consumer, or some other factor to deliver it to me.
In the best or worst of times, my better future always started with me!
I wrapped up my remarks with this encouragement, “Don’t put your success on hold, waiting for times to change by some unknown force. Life is too short, and it may take longer than your dreams - or your bank account - can afford. Remember that right now, someone in the audience who only sees headwinds is sitting next to someone who’s having their best year ever. It doesn’t mean one person is better than the other; it means that the times have little to do with your success. Change your trajectory first, and the times will instantly get better!”
Afterwards, I shook many hands and received many hugs. Eventually, everyone left.
Except for one person
As I prepared to exit the stage, a young man climbed the stairs and approached me.
“Hello,” he said. “May I speak with you?” I shook his hand.
“I feel like you were speaking directly to me,” he said. “As if I were the only person in the room. You were reading my thoughts.”
“Why is that?” I asked. “Did I say something you needed to hear?”
“Today was going to be my last day,” he said, looking down. “It hasn’t been going well for a long time. The market has been slow for years. I was ready to quit.”
“Then why did you show up?” I asked.
“I wanted to give myself one more chance,” his voice quavered.
“So you could do it, with another chance? Will you take it?”
He looked up and stared me right in the eye:
“I’m going to stay. I can do this. I won’t wait for the market; I will change first.”
Then he said strongly: “I already have!” pointing to his heart.
I had tears in my eyes when we shook hands again.
I was glad to be there - for him - that day.
He walked out, shoulders back and head high.
He had found the door to success inside himself, not the market.
Things had already changed, indeed!
Life is Difficult by Design
Are difficulties setbacks or signals? You must decide.
I prefer to think of challenges as doorways to growth. There must be some good purpose to difficulties, since life is full of them! We pass through the first challenge - born into the world - crying, after all.
Difficulties trigger our growth.
If challenges are doorways, you must open them on purpose. That’s an apt metaphor in our business, where dealing with difficulties is the norm, if we want to open the door to homeownership for most of our clients. Deals rarely go by the book. Hot markets lack inventory; cool ones lack volume. We can’t win by waiting for perfect timing because it never arrives.
But look closely, and you’ll see someone growing because they’ve made the first move!
You’re Designed to Change Difficult Times
What does it take to change difficult times? Little steps for yourself, first.
Know your purpose: not to do deals, but to make a difference. Don’t sell to strangers, but help neighbors achieve something important in their lives.
Stop competing over stats and commissions: They’re not the most valuable things you offer. Shift from propositions to invitations to undertake an important “mission” together and you’ll never discuss your commission again.
Turn prospecting into your purpose: Why undergo so much training if not to give others the benefit of your help? That’s the purpose of offering your expertise to others. TikTok that for a change, and see what happens.
Learn to listen your way into a sale: not talk people into a transaction. One makes money for a short while; the other makes relationships that last a lifetime.
With every little change you make in yourself, you’re altering the environment, too. Clients change. Competitors notice. The vibe shifts. The market expands. That’s how times become more promising:
By making yourself more promising first!
The Rewards of Changing The World
Imagine how much will change - clients’ lives, business results, personal satisfaction - when you go through tough times by making yourself better first. After a while, the times won’t look so tough, because you got going first.
Growth doesn’t care what’s happening around you. It leverages what goes on inside you. You once learned to walk before you could talk; the world didn’t change, you did.
Imagine doing a walk-through for your next sale still crawling on all fours!
They say nobody wants tough times, but I’m not convinced. Once I realized I was built for anything, I began to see tough times as the keys to changing the world.
If I’d change first.
— M
PS: Here are my three most powerful techniques for seeing every challenge as a positive signal to succeed.
I do three things before, during, and after difficult moments that reveal additional benefits of dealing with change head-on. Give them a try.
