Success Starts by Believing You're Worth It
Why I keep coming back to this phrase across my 35 year career
If you want to be successful, you must believe you deserve to be successful. Nothing else - not skills, money, time, or technology - will make a difference if you wake up every day sheepish and uncertain about the value you bring to the world.
There is simply no substitute for inner belief when it comes to achieving success.
Let me tell you a story.
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Deep Personal Beliefs
I am a huge Star Trek geek.
As teens, my friends and I would spend hours quoting scenes and dialogue from our favorite episodes and characters. Yeah, I’m that level of Star Trek geek. But if I’m honest, Star Trek was always more than entertainment for me. It was a show that represented a powerful and unique mindset, a set of beliefs about what’s possible, not just in the future, but
In MY future!
Consider the words of wisdom that were often sprinkled into the various episodes:
“It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life.”
- Jean-Luc Picard, talking to a confidence-shaken android, Mr. Data.
I play that line in my mind every time I do an excellent job, but a client cancels a contract anyway due to budget constraints (or an unexpected pandemic wipes out a year of bookings).
“I changed the conditions of the test; got a commendation for original thinking. I don't believe in the no-win scenario. I don't like to lose.” - James T. Kirk, on his approach to overcoming impossible odds.
I think of this quote every time I outsmart a travel problem or resolve a ridiculous regulation that unnecessarily inhibits my professional growth.
"Change is at the heart of what you are. But change into what? That's the question." — Q, an omnipotent being tempting the mortal Commander Riker with god-like powers.
I like to reference some form of that quote when I’m planning the next phase of my career, and during the opening session with a new coaching client.
The First Step is to Boldly Go
Whether it’s my own growth or working with clients, I’m essentially in the business of overcoming doubt. My clients and I have to practice, every day, doubting our doubts and replacing them with unshakeable confidence.
Without that confidence, taking action remains impossible. Turning prospects into clients or trying new technology, or stepping into uncertain markets takes more than scripts and skills. Not even the magic of artificial intelligence will help someone who remains unsure they’re the kind of person who —
Achieves those kinds of things.
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away
Okay, I’m mixing sci-fi metaphors, but let me take you back 25 years.
A speaker asked me once for help increasing her fees. She was a strong classroom trainer, easily handling groups of 20-50 people. Unfortunately, the earnings potential for those events is fairly limited: Too many competitors crowd around the same price point and hiring entities. Success in that segment requires traveling nonstop to find 30-50 events a year, in too many flea-ridden hotels along the freeway.
I know, because I did it for almost ten years, and it almost killed me.
So when I saw this trainer heading down the dangerous path I once travelled, I decided to do my part in breaking the cycle. We met for lunch and instead of talking fees and business strategies, I posed a different question:
“Tell me what success looks like for you,” I asked.
“I want to share more ideas, with more people.” she began. “I want to go from small venues to groups of hundreds. And I want to become financially independent, doing it without burning out.”
“Excellent,” I smiled. “Why aren’t you doing that now?”
“Most of my clients don’t believe in paying a lot for speakers,” she said. “They have lots of people to choose from, who frequently discount themselves. They’ll never pay more for me when there are cheaper options.”
“Interesting,” I mused. “And yet, some people pay ten times the amount to fly first class than sit in coach. Let’s put that aside: What do you think the answer is?”
“I think I need to write more content, advertise more, and negotiate higher fees,” she said. “But that takes a lot of time and will increase expenses, so I’m worried I won’t get ahead.”
“Or,” I said, “we can simply double your fee now and see what happens with your clients.”
“Double it? Oh, I don’t know… Why would they pay that?” she hesitated.
“Don’t they think you’re worth it?” I asked.
“I guess so,” she said.
“Well, leave that to me,” I said. “I’ve seen you teach. I know how good you are. Let me handle your bookings for the next three months. In the meantime, you work on believing in yourself. Deal?”
As Belief Grows, So Does Success
A month later, we met again for lunch. I had just seen her present. “You are really good. I’m impressed with your stage presence and question handling,” I said. “Now, take out your calendar. I just got off the phone with someone who booked you for next month. An audience of 250 people, at twice your current fee.”
She looked at me, surprised. “How could you do that? Is it a new client?”
“No, actually, it’s a client you spoke for a few years ago. They saw you again at the national meeting and put you on their list for their upcoming event. When they asked about booking you, I took the call.”
“How did you get them to pay more than last time?” she asked.
“I told them you were worth it,” I said. “Are you?”
“Oh, yes,” she said.
Warp Speed Ahead
From that day onward, we never charged less than twice her old fee, sometimes more. As her audiences grew, her confidence rose further. Clients became raving fans. And the cycle escalated: The more she believed, the more she succeeded, and not just with fees: Great locations, great clients, fun new topics, multi-event commitments that provided the ongoing financial stability she sought.
Eventually, she took over her own bookings again. Any time a prospect balked, I reminded her of a gig with a client who was ecstatic the week before — and who fully supported her.
Of course, not every prospect became her client.
As Captain Picard said, You’re going to lose some deals. That’s just life.
And Captain Kirk knew, you don’t have to like to lose, and you can always set the conditions of your success.
And Q would remind us: The decision to succeed must always start with believing in what you can become.
Which means: believing you deserve to succeed.
Before we go, a word from Patrick Stewart
Over the years, my inner belief has become my most trusted resource.
Over time, my best clients won’t even ask about the terms or price because they, too, believe in my success. Recently, I forgot to add the price to a proposal to a long-time client. When we finalized the dates on the phone, I asked if they wanted to talk about the budget. They said, “I simply expect you to charge me whatever it takes to do your best work with us.”
We didn’t even sign paperwork.
Which makes it perfect to wrap up this piece with a clip from Sir Patrick Stewart (Captain Picard), offering advice to actors going into an audition (which is really no different than making a pitch for salespeople):
“The first absolutely vital thing you must remember when you go into an audition, whoever you are or whatever age is … you must remember that all the people sitting behind that table WANT YOU TO BE THE BEST THING that’s ever walked through that door! They want you to be great! They’re already on your side. They want to be blown away by what you do! So cast aside the timidity, the unease, the fear, the insecurity… They want you to be brilliant…” - Patrick Stewart
That’s a lesson I’ve long remembered as captain of my own little ship.
When you come to believe you deserve to be successful, you’ll always find yourself surrounded by plenty of people who are in your corner!
At the very least, let’s make sure it starts with you.
—M
Thank you!