Ten Takeaways from My Late Night Event

Things I learned from emceeing a super sales symposium at Caesars Palace

Last week I emceed a conference at Caesar’s Palace using the “Late Night Television Show” format. It was tremendous fun and a great way for attendees to learn. Here are ten of my takeaways you can apply at any time.

But first, a quick story of positive problem-solving.

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Much fun was had hosting “The Tonight Show Today” at Caesar’s Palace last week.

A Story About Negotiating Problems, Not People

If you attended my negotiation skills workshop recently, you recall one of the principles of effective agreements: Focus on people’s interests, not their positions.

This principle, from my favorite book Getting to Yes, seems intuitive. In fact, it’s difficult to practice. We often confuse our positions with our interests. We’re culturally trained to think of negotiations as a kind of “combat” in which our ideas must “beat” the other party. A “winner-take-all” mentality prevents everyone from collaborating to find options that create an acceptable outcome for everyone.

“Winner-loser” thinking also leads people to confuse negotiations with conflict, rather than problem-solving. Nowadays that means resorting to “passive” communication tools we think will minimize unpleasant conversations. Ironically, trying to negotiate by texting or email introduces even more reasons for positions to become battles, because the technology skews the process. Each side must “squeeze” their intentions into a flat, restricted medium, like checkboxes, and limited text small fields, because that’s what the code requires. It’s not what the outcome requires. Doing negotiations from a text field or transaction management screen limits the creative, collaborative outcomes that real-time, human conversations easily create. We miss out on cues that encourage engagement and support risk-taking, like facial expressions and body language - that might otherwise lead to a win — for all.

So what can we do?

Nobu Means Stretch

Last Sunday I checked into Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas to keynote a leadership retreat and emcee a conference. When I entered the casino, a long check-in line made me groan; then I checked my smartphone and noticed it said Nobu on my reservation, the hotel-within-the-hotel that’s closer (and quieter) to the convention center…and has a separate check-in lounge. I breathed a sigh of relief and went directly to the 72nd floor into a quiet, calm reception area with no line.

“There seems to be a problem,” said the hostess after typing my name into her computer screen. “Your reservation is for the main tower, not Nobu.”

“Have I misread the email?” I asked, presenting her with my phone screen.

“Yes,” she said. “that message means that you were requesting an upgrade to Nobu. But not that it was confirmed. You’re part of a group booking at the main tower.”

“I’ve stayed here many times,” I said. “It would be greatly appreciated if you have availability if you could switch my reservation to Nobu. It’s closer to the conference and much quieter. I’m the keynote speaker and emcee and need to be rested and focused this week. I’m happy to pay any difference.”

“I’m afraid I cannot alter the reservation,” said the hostess, staring at her screen. She furiously pressed buttons and it sadly beeped back. She looked at the computer rather than me because I think she thought we were going to fight. “The system won’t let me change your room,” she said to her keyboard.

I took a deep breath. Interests, not positions, I said to myself.

“What if you simply booked me a separate reservation for this week at Nobu?” I asked. “I’m already here. We can call the group meeting manager and balance out the accounting. Like I said, if there’s a price difference, I’m happy to pay it.”

She looked up, helpless. “Let me make a call.” She dialed someone on the phone. Meanwhile, I checked the travel app on my phone and found availability and a decent price for the week. I left the screen showing.

You want to stay here, not defeat her, I reminded myself as I waited for her call to end.

“No,” she said exasperated. “Even my manager cannot change it. You’d have to pay for the room on your own,” she said.

“That’s not a problem,” I said calmly. “I was paying for the reservation either way.”

“Yes, but it’s not the group rate,” she said, assuming the price was my concern. I realized she was so worried about conflict that she hadn’t heard me say, twice, that price wasn’t the issue. “You’d have to pay more.” She looked down, obviously thinking I would be upset.

Be hard on problems, soft on people, I told myself.

“Well, doesn’t Nobu mean stretch in Japanese?” She looked up at me in complete surprise. “Maybe the solution requires us both to stretch the rules a little bit,” I said with a grin. “My goal is to stay here. I assume you want to help me with that. Let’s figure it out together.”

She looked at me wide-eyed. Obviously, I had not reacted the way she expected. We were not going to fight. We were both going to win.

I flipped my smartphone to her. “Maybe I should just reserve the room on this travel app? It shows you have rooms, at this rate. How close can you come to that on your system?”

She exhaled at me and looked back to her screen. A few clicks later, she said, “Actually, I can beat that rate,” she whispered conspiratorially. “And I have a very quiet room at the end of the hallway for you.”

Ten clicks later, everyone was happy.

“Thank you for working with me,” I said, reaching out to shake her hand — and give her a $20 tip. “Oh, no, that’s not necessary,” she said.

“That’s not exactly true,” I replied. “You earned it. It’s my pleasure to offer it to you.”

She handed me the keys and I headed to the elevator, certain it would be a great week.

—M

Did you enjoy this story? Be sure to give it a ❤️ and let me know in the comments. And if you’d like Ten More Takeaways to solve problems from my event this week, keep reading below! 👇

1. Relationships Matter More than Ever. I cannot stress this enough: whether you’re trying to grow your business, live a good life, or solve a problem at the moment, relationships matter more than anything else. This week’s story was the perfect reminder that it wasn’t the technology, policies, or prices that created the great outcomes. It was the ability for me and the hotel staff to form a pleasant, mutually beneficial relationship in which we could collaborate to succeed. I saw it everywhere - in the workshops, at the dinner table, and even at the blackjack table, where strangers forged new friendships that not only made their time together better but will lead to future possibilities for which there are no substitutes.

2. The Best Technology is the One You Use. Multiple guests, panelists and participants repeated this insight: The more you integrate a tech tool - new or old - into your daily routine, the more effective it becomes. Yes, the latest features and the newest bells and whistles help, but it’s not until you make the technology a normal part of your daily habits that you see the real benefits. How many apps have you downloaded and never used? And why is email still your most powerful - fifty-three-year-old tool?

3. Go with Your Gut More Often. One of the most fun sessions I experienced this week was from speaker Bridgett Quigg, an improv actress/comedian/teacher who taught the audience to trust their intuition. In an age where we’re taught to find data, information, and reasons for everything, sometimes your intuition knows something your computer doesn’t.