We get so concerned with “generating” value that we risk overlooking the present of our presence. Sometimes you don’t need to say anything: Show up and listen your way into your next growth opportunity.
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Last week I called a very busy CEO
We hadn’t talked in a long time and I was unsure how I should be adding value in between our projects.
“Could I have ten minutes of your time?” I asked. “I’m wondering what’s on your plate and how I could be more helpful?”
Those ten minutes turned into an hour in which I never pitched a product, service or solution. In fact, I hardly did any talking. I listened, listened, listened, nodding and taking notes. And yet, without saying a dozen words, I’m sure I —
Strengthened our relationship and rapport
Improved our knowledge, thinking, and potential courses of action
Generated something valuable without requiring a contract or payment
Communicated my intentions: I’ve got your back!
At the end of the call, my usually-very-busy-client said:
“Could we do this again soon? I really enjoyed our conversation!”
We have a lot of work to do…
…. to rejuvenate an industry we love. Exciting, challenging work that requires us to get in the zone with current and future clients. Ironing out trouble spots and rebuilding trust with consumers — and to some degree, with ourselves. Returning the conversation to the things that matter when there’s an opportunity to help:
People. Purpose. Positivity.
That’s much more than 111 tasks on a list…
And why I’m not anxious to let articles, ads, or AI do the work.
This is the job for deep conversations between people, not quick solutions or fancy algorithms. We don’t need ads talking at the public; but opportunities to hear from the public. We won’t rebuild a vibrant consumer connection by boiling the situation down to a few seconds of mic-dropping cliches.
Not because it’s not correct: but because we don’t have time for more misunderstandings, or sounding tone-deaf.
(The media has that covered for us, just fine, thank you.)
Shift Focus to Trust
Now is the time to shift our focus from creating value to building trust.
In a business that likes to say it’s all about location, we need to map a route back to Trustville. That’s where clients, colleagues and even circuit judges realize there’s more to our story than cliches and clever litigations. If the industry took a beating lately, it’s not because of “sudden” bad press. We’ve always walked a razor’s edge of respect: It has always been fashionable to quip REALTORS ranked behind used car salesmen.
Yet every one of the five million sales made annually is done with voluntarily signed contracts with clients. And followed up by thank-you cards of heartfelt gratitude.
Trust me: Trustville isn’t a ghost town yet, though challenges still lurk.
Can you hear me now?
What if we stopped talking for a little while, and did a little more listening?
Rather than running ads with hundreds of bullet points to setup the one point at the end — that we still matter — imagine how those conversations would happen if 1.5 million REALTORS each had a single personal conversation every day that started with:
How can I help you?
Not: Let me tell you my side of the story.
My mentor used to say
You can’t always talk your way into a sale; but you sure can listen your way into one.
That’s what my client reminded me last week: Ask, and consumers will tell us how to return to Trustville. This is the true heart of representing consumers. Of earning our compensation. Of delivering value.
Connecting without an agenda and listening to people talk about what matters to them. Then our profession kicks in: Making a sale is the end result of focusing on consumer’s needs, not the primary purpose of it.
And a sale is the surest sign we’ll have returned to Trustville with clients.
Last week I answered my phone three times
“I figured I’d get your voicemail; I’m so glad I didn’t.”
“Thanks for a few minutes of your time; You get me.”
“Do you have any ideas on how I can solve this?”
We need to be ready to receive those kinds of conversations. Not waiting for them upon summer deadlines, dependent upon Federal Reserve decisions, or anticipating silicon algorithms to fix our trajectory. The job of our job is to get out there and listen more, talk less. Noticing the scary parts, and solving those - not reiterating the past.
Like the photo above, it’s time to stop staring at selfies and notice the (papier-mâché) monsters surrounding us.
And dispel them, to restore safety and certainty to our clients.
Listen for the future
Everything else is just noise. A distraction from the real issues - because we’re making too much noise to listen carefully. It’s an overreaction to the change, that keeps us from seeing the opportunities for the future.
“An addiction to distraction is the end of your creative production," said the monk who sold his Ferrari, in that timeless book.
Let’s start having meaningful conversations. Revitalizing relationships without doing the talking, ‘toks and to-do’s. Permitting ourselves to discover paths back to the location, location, location that matters most:
The place of Trust.
This is the only reason someone will ever ask you:
“Can we do this again soon?”
Such good advice! And now I feel even better about all your readers who also signed up for my Substack, as my recent topics are pretty much about listening and building trust.
Two ears, one mouth! Thanks for the great reminder :)