What Are You Looking At?
Take a break from industry woes with three short inspirational stories this week.
This week I’m sharing three short stories, photographs and life lessons that help me keep from being “caught up” in worries about change, cautions or criticisms. Hopefully, they’ll help you rediscover the world on your terms, through your lens, too.
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Story #1: Set Your Own Standards
Some days we can feel unbalanced. We wonder whether it’s a period of real instability or a moment to take a risk and show off our flexibility. Whenever a voice tries to disturb our focus, we must remember to keep an eye on things that matter most:
Our perspective
Our activities
Our self-talk
Our standards
Just because someone else offers a perspective, it’s always up to us to accept their view.
Or not.
Years ago a good friend took me to the Salvador Dali museum.
We were dazzled by the ferocity and boldness of Dali’s perspectives: He was a master of pulling viewpoints apart, breaking things into unexpected components, and pushing the boundaries. “Surrealism is destructive,” Dali said, “but it destroys only what it considers to be the shackles limiting our vision.”
We’re all surrealists, sometimes.
Critics Around, Among Us
Nowadays, there are many critics among us, in every area of life, who are neither artists nor surrealists. Critics are content to be merely destructive, tearing down the solids of our lives: institutions, careers, history, and people. Yet rarely offering a vision to replace it.
Most don’t even try. Too many bashers. Too few builders.
My job is to be a builder. To take the raw materials of life, career, experience, hope and wisdom - and create something useful with it. Using my vision, without any need to refute the bashers. To find my own thing, with good intentions, and do my best to make them happen.
Otherwise, why get up in the morning?
To build a good life, and where possible, do a little good with others. For me - and many of you - our careers are literally the business of building. We’re doubly fortunate that every sale helps us and others build their lives, hopes, and dreams, too.
So is there any need to take the critic’s voice so seriously, if we pay attention to it at all?
It was exciting to see Dali’s paintings twist and turn and play with the world. He offered a creative, unique and sometimes challenging view of what we see. Sometimes serious, other times, silly. “I don’t do drugs; I am drugs,” he once quipped.
His hope was to build the breadth of our vision, not criticize the narrowness of our sight.
At one point, I witnessed a perfect moment of Dali.
On the wall was his rendering of Lincoln; standing in front of the painting was a visitor sporting a mohawk. I immediately thought, a bit more grandiose than Dali’s mustache, but nonetheless, his own.
Dali would have loved the scene, I think. Not because he or the visitor was a critic of the other. But because both recognized the tremendous power of following your own vision of the world. I watched the man with the mohawk stare at the painting for a few moments.
Then he shook his head, his mohawk waving back and forth, and walked on.
When I look back at that photograph, it reminds me to keep my own counsel. There may be sharp shouts of critics about many things - even me - but they’re just interpretations of the world, hanging on a wall. Powerless against someone who is a builder:
Like me, or you, able to observe them at a distance, shake our heads, brush back our hair, and walk on.
Story #2: What Are You Waiting For?
Every day, we’re surrounded by signs. Stop. No Parking. Keep Left. Right Turn Only. One Way. Do Not Enter. We’re surrounded by instructions from elsewhere.
A sign from the Fed for rates to change. Signs of the Spring Market. Open house signs. A sign from NAR or MLS. For Sale. Sold. Signed contracts.
The eclipse.
In the meantime, we wait.
My mother taught me to drive on a 1974 Dodge pickup, 3-on-the-column standard with no power brakes or power steering. “She’s reliable,” Mom said, “but she’s temperamental. Keep your eyes out for signs she’s going to act up.”
“Like what?” I asked.
“If you’re at a red light and she starts to shudder, take her out of gear so she doesn’t stall. If you feel a vibration on the highway, check the tires. If this light goes on, your engine is running hot. Pull over and cool off,” Mom said.
“If she has all these problems, why don’t we get a different truck?” I asked.
“They are little problems. Once you learn the signs, you can manage them easily and get where you want just fine.”
Learning to read signs is what life’s all about
Reading the right signs helps us navigate our lives. Figure out options. Plan routes. Deal with change. Good signs give us direction.
Yet sometimes, the signs are wrong. Or confusing. Even misleading. Sometimes we’re looking for signs that aren’t there anymore or are outdated. Some things look like signs, but they’re really just a cloud (or a lawsuit).
How do we grow in life, when nobody tells us which signs to follow, like Halley’s Comet or a court settlement?
One afternoon, Mom picked me and a friend up from school in her old truck. As we crammed into the cab, my friend noticed the vanity plate on the front. It was Mom’s nickname for her truck:
“Finally.”
“What does the name mean?” my friend asked.
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